Last night, I had an epiphany. It was sudden; it was revealing; it was simple.
Lately, I've been waiting around wondering what God has next for my life--wondering why I just graduated college yet I'm not using my degree at all. I feel so called to youth ministry at my church and I absolutely love it! I wouldn't trade that job for anything. I also love babysitting/nannying. It's fun and I love being able to help families out when they need me. But, I keep thinking to myself, "Why did I even go to college? It was useless." While that may be true for now, I may need my degree in the future, but I still couldn't shake the feeling that there's got to be more to this life than just working and figuring out my next step in my career.
When I was in Vegas on a mission trip, I was told some things that people believe God has in store for my life. Ever since I got back from Vegas, I keep wondering when these things will happen or if they ever will happen. I keep thinking that if I just keep doing what I'm doing as far as my job goes and other aspects of life go, then eventually what was prophesied will happen. The problem is that if I stay stagnant in my relationship with God and don't move, I think I'll hinder what God ultimately has planned.
It's not that I don't think God will follow through on his promises, but it suddenly hit me last night that I can't just keep living a stagnant life before Christ and think that I will be used in major ways. I need to just start doing something and God will work through that. I need to start being so consumed by God that He overflows into all areas of my life. I haven't been doing this. My life is not consumed by God and I'm not seeing an overflow into other areas of my life. This hit my like a punch in the gut. What am I doing for God that will make a difference? Yes, I work with the youth at my church, but I'm not seeking out relationships with the students; I'm not making myself available to them other than the allotted time on Sundays.
Last night, I realized that God is not number 1 in my life. I realized that I don't walk into restaurants or gyms or coffeehouses and think of what I could do to be used by God in my servers life or in the lives of those that participate in my fitness classes. I do what I need to and leave. I eat my food and leave. Where was God in that moment? He wasn't even a thought in my head. I hate that. I get so down on myself for not even thinking about praying for my server; for not even thinking about talking one on one with my participants in my classes. I am a light for Christ, but I never shine.
From this moment on, I am committing to make God my every thought. It's not going to happen over night. It's not even going to happen within a month, but if I make an effort to love God with all of my heart and make him number 1, then maybe where I go in this life and in my career won't ultimately matter. What will matter is how much I shined for Christ and how much I loved God in everything that I did. I think, ultimately, our purpose here on earth is not to be the best in our career or be the best at anything really but to simply spread the Gospel. All this time, I try harder and harder and get no where or I do get somewhere but I'm so caught up in trying harder that I never stop to love Jesus through it all.
In the end, what I'm saying is that I don't shine for Christ in all that I do, but I should. I think that if I start to shine for Christ and give him all the glory, then I will start to see those prophesies fulfilled in my life. I will start to see His promises come true because it's not about me, it's about what Christ does in me. Those promises He makes to me are not even about me, they are about what He can do through me to further His Kingdom. Nothing is about me and it never should be. I'm not here to further my agenda, but His. I'm here to spread the Gospel. I'm here to live for Jesus and help make lives different because of the love and faithfulness of Jesus. I'm here for Jesus and so are you. How are you going to let that truth shape your life and the way you live for Christ? Think about it.
Lately, I've been waiting around wondering what God has next for my life--wondering why I just graduated college yet I'm not using my degree at all. I feel so called to youth ministry at my church and I absolutely love it! I wouldn't trade that job for anything. I also love babysitting/nannying. It's fun and I love being able to help families out when they need me. But, I keep thinking to myself, "Why did I even go to college? It was useless." While that may be true for now, I may need my degree in the future, but I still couldn't shake the feeling that there's got to be more to this life than just working and figuring out my next step in my career.
When I was in Vegas on a mission trip, I was told some things that people believe God has in store for my life. Ever since I got back from Vegas, I keep wondering when these things will happen or if they ever will happen. I keep thinking that if I just keep doing what I'm doing as far as my job goes and other aspects of life go, then eventually what was prophesied will happen. The problem is that if I stay stagnant in my relationship with God and don't move, I think I'll hinder what God ultimately has planned.
It's not that I don't think God will follow through on his promises, but it suddenly hit me last night that I can't just keep living a stagnant life before Christ and think that I will be used in major ways. I need to just start doing something and God will work through that. I need to start being so consumed by God that He overflows into all areas of my life. I haven't been doing this. My life is not consumed by God and I'm not seeing an overflow into other areas of my life. This hit my like a punch in the gut. What am I doing for God that will make a difference? Yes, I work with the youth at my church, but I'm not seeking out relationships with the students; I'm not making myself available to them other than the allotted time on Sundays.
Last night, I realized that God is not number 1 in my life. I realized that I don't walk into restaurants or gyms or coffeehouses and think of what I could do to be used by God in my servers life or in the lives of those that participate in my fitness classes. I do what I need to and leave. I eat my food and leave. Where was God in that moment? He wasn't even a thought in my head. I hate that. I get so down on myself for not even thinking about praying for my server; for not even thinking about talking one on one with my participants in my classes. I am a light for Christ, but I never shine.
From this moment on, I am committing to make God my every thought. It's not going to happen over night. It's not even going to happen within a month, but if I make an effort to love God with all of my heart and make him number 1, then maybe where I go in this life and in my career won't ultimately matter. What will matter is how much I shined for Christ and how much I loved God in everything that I did. I think, ultimately, our purpose here on earth is not to be the best in our career or be the best at anything really but to simply spread the Gospel. All this time, I try harder and harder and get no where or I do get somewhere but I'm so caught up in trying harder that I never stop to love Jesus through it all.
In the end, what I'm saying is that I don't shine for Christ in all that I do, but I should. I think that if I start to shine for Christ and give him all the glory, then I will start to see those prophesies fulfilled in my life. I will start to see His promises come true because it's not about me, it's about what Christ does in me. Those promises He makes to me are not even about me, they are about what He can do through me to further His Kingdom. Nothing is about me and it never should be. I'm not here to further my agenda, but His. I'm here to spread the Gospel. I'm here to live for Jesus and help make lives different because of the love and faithfulness of Jesus. I'm here for Jesus and so are you. How are you going to let that truth shape your life and the way you live for Christ? Think about it.